18 December 2012
I had a huge diatribe about friendship with all its types and faces, but I realized that what I really want to say is that I don't want to settle anymore.
I've made friendships because I was feeling lonely and didn't have anybody. I've tried to keep friendships alive even after they were dead, because of old times' sake and the time and emotions invested in them. I call the later inertia friendships.
Well, no more. I want to look for friendships that make me a better person, that open my eyes to new things, that change me. Of course, I have to be able to do the same thing for the other person. Otherwise, it's a one-sided thing and not a friendship.
Speaking of which, I need to learn to recognize one-sided relationships, when I'm the one side, and treat them accordingly. A one-sided relationship is devotion and not friendship. You are giving and not receiving. It's a way to learn generosity, unconditional giving. If I look at it as a loan, I'll feel miserable because I'll be deluding myself with the promise of receiving and I'll also resent the other person.